It took me a long time to feel okay in my own skin, mentally and physically. For decades, I existed in a state of hyper-awareness. I would scan every room the moment I entered; I chose seats where my back was against the wall, eyes always on the door. Surviving was the only thing I could do with my PTSD and my nervous system was constantly on edge, bracing for what might come next. I didn’t know how to feel safe in my own skin or my environment.
That kind of hyper-vigilance is exhausting.
When your body believes it’s in danger, even when you’re technically “safe,” it stays stuck in overdrive and it’s like being forced to run a marathon you never signed up for. You don’t rest, you don’t breathe deeply, and you are unable to just be.
The healing began when I learned how to softly tell myself:
You are safe now.
Not just as a mantra, but as a felt truth. I would use logic to explain to myself how to feel safe and start feeling into my body. Where did I tense? Where did I clinch? I would soften those area, and soon, I was able to release them. Then, my body started to believe it and my mind followed. And with that belief, I began to get my energy back. Slowly, gently, I began to stop bracing for the next blow.
I stopped living in the “shoulds” and “woulds” and started living in the now, and that was the beginning of peace to learn how to be safe within myself.
First things first, you need to get yourself out of the spots you feel unsafe to practice. You shouldn’t lie to yourself because that causes mistrust in you. You need to KNOW for a fact you are, without a doubt, 100 percent physically safe to start these practices.
Not everything that feels normal is safe, here’s how to tell when your body and mind finally feel safe again.✨
3 Signs You’re in a Safe Space (Inside & Out):
🧠 Your thoughts slow down.
You’re no longer waiting for the next crisis. You can think clearly, daydream again, and focus without constant inner noise.
💗 Your breath deepens naturally.
You’re breathing from your belly, not your chest. No tightness. No unconscious breath-holding. Just ease.
🤝 You feel present, not performative.
You’re not scanning the room for threats or approval. You’re just being, and for once, that’s enough to feel safe.
If you’re on this journey too, know this: your body wants to know how to feel safe, and you can teach it how.
Healing doesn’t always look like breakthroughs, and sometimes, it looks like a deep breath, a quiet thought, or the simple act of choosing peace over panic.
You’re not broken. You’re healing, and you’re allowed to feel safe in your own skin.
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