Unfold Your Journey

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Who do you spend the most time with?

You’re probably thinking, of course, I love the person I spend the most time with. Why would I not?

But what if you could imagine spending every waking moment with someone you hated?
Someone who criticized your every move, doubted your worth, called you names, belittled you, maybe even inflicted harm emotionally, mentally, or physically?
What would you do?

You’d leave.
You’d cut ties.
You’d file a restraining order if you had to.
You’d do anything to get away from that kind of abuse.

But what if that person… was you?

The Hardest Relationship of All

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I spend the most time with myself. As we probably all do.
And there was a time, longer than I care to admit, when that relationship was toxic. Painful. Abusive. Harmful.

I used to tear myself down constantly. I couldn’t look into the mirror. I neglected my needs. I gaslit my own emotions. I punished myself mentally, emotionally, even physically.
And the worst part? There was no escape. Because I couldn’t leave myself.

You can’t walk out on the person in the mirror. But it’s the one person you can change.

Where Does This Person Come From?

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Sometimes this relationship with yourself is formed by your past, sometimes it develops after a trauma, or maybe continues to be reinforced by multiple wounds, complex and/or chronic traumas. It where Complex PTSD is starting to arise as a true diagnosis, although it isn’t official in the DSM yet (current version 5 when writing this).

These complex traumas, especially if you grew up with them, create this inner dialog of someone you don’t get allow with. Someone that isn’t your ‘true self’. They are not aligned with your goals, and they will do anything to force you out of a good situation. because that isn’t aligned with their past experiences. This sinks you further into the negative bias of our programming. You begin to believe that that voice is truth. That, it’s who you are. But it’s not.

And it doesn’t have to be permanent.

Learning to Love the Person I Am With

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It didn’t change overnight.
There was no magical morning where I woke up and suddenly loved myself. It was slow. Uncomfortable. Uneven. It felt painful. A climb with scraped knees and slippery setbacks.

But something inside me knew I couldn’t keep living as my own enemy.

So I started small. I questioned the internal voice that criticized me. I asked, “Would I say this to a friend?”
I practiced gentleness. I let myself rest. I tried, imperfectly, to show up with kindness.

Eventually, I began to see someone new in the mirror. Someone I recognized… but also didn’t.
For the first time, I was looking at someone I liked.
Someone I respected.
Someone I loved.

Someone I accepted.

Why This Work Matters

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The journey, from self-loathing to self-love, is another reason I became a life coach.
Because I know what it’s like to utterly hate yourself. To live in survival mode. To feel like joy, peace, or acceptance are things other people get to have.

And I know what it’s like to rise from that. To unlearn shame. To build trust with yourself again.
That shift doesn’t start with a new job, relationship, or wardrobe. It starts with your mindset.
It starts with you.

I’m not perfect at it now, but I’ve come far enough that I’m not slipping back into the void of despair. That my depression doesn’t overtake me anymore and I can, at least, get out of bed in the mornings now.

You Deserve Peace in Your Own Presence

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You are the one person you are guaranteed to spend your entire life with.
So why not make that relationship a loving one?

Loving yourself isn’t about ego or perfection, it’s about peace.
It’s about becoming someone you feel safe with.
It’s about choosing, again and again, to show up for yourself like someone you care deeply about.

Because you should.
You deserve that kind of love.

And if you don’t believe it yet, I’ll believe it for you, until you do.

Let’s rewrite that narrative.

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